tHe BoOk OF MEmOrieS

hey guys today didnt reali woke up cos i nvr slept cos i was worried abt tasha she was supposed to call me yesterday and tell me hw she was feeling! she nvr called so i waited and waited then i called her at around 12noon and she was still sleeping so later i called her again around 3++ and she jus woke up so i told her that i was coming to meet her cos i wanted to get my ear phones and i wanted to see hw she was doin also....so i met her around 6 and we sat under her blk and talked and she wanted to go hme so she sent me to the bus stop and she left for hme..i noe its a hard time for her rite now and i noe hw she feel but not in the same situation but i jus noes hw she feels! so yea then later i went to james hse his mum called she gave tis book while cleaning his closet and it was so called his diary! so i opend it up and read it! it had a lot of things photos and memories while i was reading it my heart became heavier each seconf cos i found out hw much he reali cared for me and my heart was hurting like it was being beaten up inside! he even wrote abt the first time i showed him tasha photo he was like "clarence promise me tis dun ever let or leave tis girl out of your life" and i was like okay! tasha like i was saying over the phone no matter wat those guys or your ex bfs said you are still a SPECAIL GIRL okay you are one-in-a million:) okay be strong and i will always be there for you in heart in mind and in soul okay hun! i promise i will:) jus hang in there i noe you a strong angel:)

(gOds maKEs us speacial especailly you tasha cos your one-in-a million be strong)

~cRAsY_raSc@l~

My LiFe...

hey guys jus came bak frm chalet and its my second day after chalet....kinda boring at home cos i awlays woke up during the chalet to see my angels face jus infront of me here i wake up seeing my lazy dog face infront of me:( so yea i am in a lot of deep shit i dun reali wanna talk abt it!to my angel hey girl i noe its hard for you at tis time after wat he said yesterday you must feel like crap! i noe that feeling and and pain in your heart rite now..you always thought of him has ur world but he jus aint treating you well i dun wanna see you like tis tasha okay like i said you are a sunshine and you must always hve tis smile on ur face hun...okay i had a great time wit you and the girls at the chalet tasha...okay hun i will always be there for you for the rest of my life! okay anyways be stong and be fearless okay :) peace out peeps

(DEAth LeAVes a HeaRtacHe wHich No oNe cAn HeaL..buT tasha yoU leaVe a meMorY nO One cAn STEal)

~cRazY_RaSc@l~

i Am tHe BlaMe fOr eVerYthIng.....

hey guys today i didnt reali wake up cos i want sleeping so yea! everything thats was happening around me was my fault even james death is my fault oso eh...so yea i hve been lately not been happy cos watever i did for james gf she always blame that everything happen because of me! i dun reali noe wat to do? i wanna feel the way that i had wen priya was there she like my sister she knew wat was happening in my life she wuld not miss caling me a day:) later i am gonna meet her cos she found out wat happen...and to my tasha i noe its hard for you now and you hve been there for me these days now i am gonna be there for you! your a strong girl my hun you will get through tis wit me i will be by ur side...you shuldnt even think of cos he aint worth ur time...okay i will there for everytime like my nick said "the onli thing that matters to me now is my angel and that is you" jus now juliana came hme wit me she said she missed me and gave me hug...and she was like telling me to eat and like askin me to take care of myself haha...i kinda miss james cos he was always there for me wen i needed him! I WAN HIM BAK and i am sori james if i did anything to cause your death my bro.. good day everyone


( JaMes MaKE ME JoIn yOu sOoN)

ReAdy SeT gO iS tiME tO rUN....

hey guys today i woke up feeling veri tired...i am actulai hvin tis same dream that i was attending my own funeral haha damn sick eh:) so yea woke up tired wen to class 1hr30mins late and i onli attended like 30 mins of class :) then my whole class was at the canteen talking to our sir! then i was like hungry so i bought food and ate in the canteen..so then i met up wit the girls cos they were coming to yishun to buy shampoo and stuff and then yadayada.....and yea i jus found out mark broke up wit tasha and i reali feel good for her cos she is now free frm him and the chalet is oso coming up so she can forget abt him....okay tasha i not jus telling tis cos i am and idiot but yea tis break-up is reali great for you cos hw dosent desevre a girl like you! like me and angel said he uses you for sex and we could see that he dosent reali love you! you thought that he was ur world but guess wat he isnt....he hurts you dosent respect you has his girlfriend! i noe its hard for you rite now c'mon girl you can get through tis everyons gonna be happy for you! okay hun your life gonna be great wen you hve us:) be strong my litte princess:) and one more thing mark has to feel sad cos he lost a SPEACIAL GIRL LIKE YOU

(DuN LOVe a GirL cOS sHE's BeauTifUl LoVE HeR cOS YoU mAKE hEr BeaUtIful)

~cRaSy_rAscAL~

ItS LiKe ShALaLa

hey guys today i actuali woke up feeling kinda stress and tired..woke up early cos i was hving a excursion at sentosa more of a like class day out! so yea i met up wif the guys at habourfront then frm there we went to get our drinks,food and etc...so we went to the beach to find the volley ball court and we chose a place near it! it was so damn fucking hot today lah:( so yea i stayed there for around 1-4 hrs then later i had to leave cos i was gona meet the girls to do our get the food for our chalet...so yea i was still kinda moody wen i to meet the girls so later seeing all of them happy i didnt wan my fucking mood to like gloom their day oso so i started to disturb and make jokes to see all of them laugh:) then later we wen bak to that GIRL house to make mac n chesse and me ,ccl and that GIRL ate then later we sent ccl back to taman...then later i hanged out wif jus my BFF we had loads of fun i was actuali relaing wen i was wif her i dint hve to think abt wat to do abt tis and tat was so relaxing thx soo much:) so yea i lepak wif her and i was talking abt her and mark i didnt reali wan to see her sad anymore! so yea later we jus sat at the bus stop and talk and talk so fun:) anyways peace out eberyone i am happy BOY today:)


~CrAzY~rAsCAl~

EsPeciaLLy FoR yOu TaSHa

hey my dumb dumb:) i noe you hve things running through ur head! you are a special girl to me and i noe i hve not been the same lately and i dun reali check up on you! i am sori for that but to tell you the truth i will always be here for you no matter wat okay! and there is no use crying for that guy (am i correct) but you shuldnt:0 your a strong girl and you will always be and god always make special girls like you and your one of gods best creation okay my dumb dumb okay i will always be rite hear a phone call away okay be happy like i said my sunshine should be sad not good okay...dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb wait for the chalet we will enjoy it i make sure wat ever problems i hve i leave it at hme before and be my old self at the chalet especially for you my dearest! okay rember kapala i am always here:)


~CraSzy~rAscAl~

always here for you

HaLf PaSt-DeAd.....

hey guYs tOdaY wAs okay lah...woke in the morin abit early cos i had to pass tasha the psp...i was meeting her around 8+++ so i wen to meet her at the mrt and frm there we walked to yishun mac and then angel joined us i bought hotcakes for tasha and i eneded up sharing wif her:) so yea lter she and angel left for sch so i sent them to the mrt station and i went home to get ready for my interview at rasta sentosa at 1.45pm so yeai got ready and left my hse around 12.30 and i reached harbourfront at 1.30 i think so i met zul and we went to the subway at there to meet the rest then we all later wen to the ferry terminal to take our bus to rasta sentosa.......
during that whole journey alot of things were runin thourgh my head....so the interview was like kinda short i thought it was like gonna take ages but it was like a 45min interview onli:) so then after my interview i got a call frm juliana and she like saying that she was at vivo at she wanted to meet me and at first i was like thinkin hw she noe that i was at sentosa theni realise that i told the other day:) then wen she first saw me she came and give me a big hug and she said i hope you feel better and i was like ohkkkay then i asked for what and she said i looke disturbed and i was like oh! then later we walked around for awile then i bought for her lunch..then she told me that she ran away from home cos she needed to be alone and i was like...so was like advising her! then i asked why she like me and she said i was cute and veri good to her and i said that i cheat on girls and i cant nvr be trusted and she jus sai i dun care! then i was like okay! so then later she came bak wit me to yishun cos she was gonna me her mum at there...we reached yishun and se said she wanted to send me all the way under my blk and i was like okay up to you...then wen we reached she gave a hug for like 1min and she said everythin will be fine and i jus smiled and went home:) the other day tasha told me that she and mark went their seperate ways but (not and offical break-up) and i was like mhmm i hope shes fine anyways i will be here tasha if you feel like talking....:) i cant wait for the chalet another 5days:) peace out everyone

(I aM hEre FoR a ReASOn cAuSe He AinT FucKin BrEatHin)

~CraZy_RaSc@l~

hmmm days like tis blOW MY sTreSs aWaY

hey guys today was fun...i woke up in the morning and i was like hvin this strong pain on my hand i didnt reali care abt it...so yea i was meetin tash and angel later in the afternoon so yea! priya cAlled around2++ she said she wanted to meet me so i said in a polite manner "HELL NO" hehe yup thats me:) so yea i went to bath took my time changed and wen out of my hse...so i went to interchange to take my bus then saw my makkals they and we talked for awhile or so they said there was this bbq coming up for my fren b'dae and they wanted to go and stuff so yea...after all that my bus came i took it! so i reached bp and then i met "tASHA WASHIE" she brought to were angel was and then i sat there wit angel while tasha wen hme to change...i sat there seeing her eat while i was like gonna faint wasnt feelin well wit alot of things in my head :(
yup so yea first i thought i did smething wrng cos tasha was kinda firece today in the first! so yea we waited for the bus to go to causeway in the bus me and tasha nvr reali talked haha! so wen we reached causeway i was like okay then she smiled i was phewwww no bomb gonna explode:)
i had a great time wit tasha today it jus make me forget all the things that were goin through my head!!! she came to yishun later on cos she wanted to get smethin frm john little then wen she bought it i jus felt like sendin her hme dun reali no why but i jus wanted to :) so in the bus i laid my hand around her wen her head touched my hand i jus felt she was thinkin too many things(always like tat) then i jus felt that one day or in a next life i wuld wan her to be my gf! hehe so yea after that i reached hme then i met my fren at yishun coffee shop i jus was so happy today thx to that TASHA WASHIE:)

BE THE BEST.FUCK THE REST
(cRaZy~RaScaL)

OnE DaY wE WilL dAnCe WiT The LiONs

hey guys today started out okay...today my third sis b'dae we kinda like celebrated! today morning woke up didnt feel like goin sch so i didnt go hehe...so if i stayed at hme that priya would come find me and ask me go out wif her which i didnt wan! so yea i asked ccl where she was goin after sch and she said she was goin to tasha hse to do project so i asked if i could tag along and she said yes so i was goin to their hse at 2++ so i wen and watch NEVER BACK DOWN...so damn nice sia! yea so i wen to bath after the movie(sori no deatils on hw i bathe) lol so yea after that i wen and changed then i left early cos i had to handle a problem at my sec sch then after that i took the bus dwn to bp and then headed up to her hse at there i was sitting at her chair playin psp hehe she was like so shy again dun noe why! she is cute wen she is shy:) so yea then later we went to bpp ntuc to get ccl mac n cheese but they didnt hve so she wen to bought bake rice! then later we headed up to her hse we watched tv and the two girls dozed off lol tasha was sleeping near my lap so yea i pat her on her head while she was sleeping:)she is not evil wen she is a sleep lol! then later i recived a msg frm juliana she said she wanted to meet me then i told her that i was out and couldnt meet her was lazy lah! then later wen i went to get my sister gift i saw her at the mac she saw me and she came and talked to me so we chated for a abt 15mins and i left she walked me hme (first tie girl walk me hme) so yea then later i wen hme! so yea tasha msged me earlier that she was "no one in my life" but then i told her that she SOMEONE IN MY LIFE AND THAT IS 100% true:) so yea now i wan go watch ghost whisper hehe she damn hot:) so yea take care everyone:)

(CrAZY~RaScAl)

NeVeR BaCk DoWn!!!!!!!!!!!

hey guyz...today hmmm i woke up couldnt sleep so yea woke up quite late then was watchin tv and stuff! then later around 2+ wen to meet priya she was at funland so i went to meet her she wanted to see me i was actuali kinda weird....i got nthin to do at hme so i jus wen to meet her she takin care of me like her bf(FUCKIN ANOYING) so yea i had to tahan all of her for like until 6-7++ hmmmmm then later she came over to my hse she said she didnt wan go hme yet she wanted to lepak so yea we did for awhile then i told her that i am gonna meet my fren and i am leaving the hse so yea! has a gentlement i send her hme then later i came hme wen i sent her hme she kinda kissed me on the cheeks i was like wtf serious i dun noe why! so yea and tasha mmmmm she wasnt feelin well so i called her in the morning to check up on her....the girls wen over to her hse to do some project and she said that she can manage her project so yea good luck guys! after send priya hm i was walking hme wen i saw my ex and her bf so she shouted my name frm far and i was tryin to hide but too bad god gave me a big body :( boo hoo yea so she intoduced her bf to me and i was hi! he started staring at me thinking he sme kind of king so i stared bak and then my ex said ashe gotta go i had tis rage in me to hit him lol so yea came hme now usin th comp...2morrow sch dun whether i can go lazy lah hehe take care tasha okay good nights everyone

(cRaZy~RaScAl)

It HurTS wOunDs SO sOre......

hey guys today i woke up wit my back hurting and i was hving fever my head hurt! so yea wen to sch has our prsentation to do i was shvering in class and i felt like my head was gonna explode! so yea i was like not in a mood for anything! wen my group turn came i wen up to present and this ppl in my classs try to shoot me wit question but wenver they ask i shoot them bak then the stfu! so yea i cant wait to leave class damn cold went out to meet the girls they wanted to talk abt our chalet which was like so close lookin forward to it also lah:) so yea later we went to the playground near the sch! the girls played the swing i was like jus sitting there looking around! i hve loads of things running through my head like wit priya,frens,family etc!! so yea i hve been lately under alot problems! and tasha things i hve changed i myself dun noe! maybe or maybe not! and now my daughter (ccl) i think she has a crush on my class mate boon peng she was asking me for his nubmer! hehe i guess it makes her happy!!! talked to the girl frm frenster which i met on msn! she so like a idian blond! lol so yeqa tmr hving my second round of prsentation and i am still not feeling well which sucks i jus wan to see james and tell him all my problems! i had tis dream which was super nice lah there was tis girl beside me and i was wit james i told him tis is my girl and he said i told you so! i jus woke up after that! i dint get to see her face the girl near my hight! lol and tasha i am not reali sure whether i hve changed but i dun think so...okay think tooo much bulb

(cRazY_rAsCal)

My HeArt BuRst InTo FiRe.......

hey guyz...today was great woke up wit my leg damn pain:( then later wen to meet my frens at his hse!!! then later i was playin game at there boring sia! so later i though of msgin tasha cos i felt bad for being mean to her yesterday night! i didnt had sch today but tasha had so yea! i though of meeting her cos i had tis feeling that she was felling troubled so i msged her whether she wanted to meet me...at around 5+++ thats wen i was watchin power rangers damn nice lah got omega power rangers and cool...okay nvm abt tat so yeA i met them at yishun mac....i saw ccl and tasha then i saw angel and baris bag i thought they were goin out but they tagged along i guess? so yea we moved to LJS cos some guy was sitting at our place at mac and it was damn hot outside! tasha was being weird at first dun noe why leh she didnt dare to look at me! hehe then later she talk then shy,talk then shy and continue aiyoh ayioh!!!so yea we were sitting at mac palnning our chalet wat to buy and stuff! then later we were waiting for bari after he came we left...ccl and tasha took train bak home so i was goona meet my cousin she was hving some problems i guess! but before that i sent the girls to the mRT and the best part was wen tasha steped my injured leg i was like "whoa Piang eh" hehe she was veri shy dun noe why sia! anyways after seeing my cousin wen to see my makkals and now hme gonna msn and then go out again:) night life!

(CrazY_RaScAL)

HavE mErcY oN mE wHen My HeaRt tUrNs cOld...:)

hey hey......today was fun i had a freakin oral frm NEA! so damn fucking easy haha yesterday i had to stay up all night to finsih my freaki project slept around 2+++....and yea today i had to stay back in sch to finish up our final stuff for the project! had fun also and i saw the girl who added me on frenster we talked for aawhile and she asked for my msn hope to see her online later:) lalala anywayz saturday priya told me smethin which bothers me alot she said wen she kissed bf she said it was like kissing me for the first time! lol anyways i just told her its just for a time onli and dun ever the tell a guy tis his heart will break and her bf is my close makkals brother!so yea! so today i went home wit angel we ate at kfc and headed home! okay ima gonna eat and then lalala good day ppls


(CrazY_Lover)

I HvE LoSt eVeRyThIng?

hey guys i didnt update my blog for quite a time:) so yea yesterday i had my mcp i was kinda bump on wat happen on wed cos i saw mark and tasha being close and everything reali hurt my heart to the core and tis stupid me was upset i am such a dumb fucker!!!!mark and tasha i bf and gf if they hve veri intimate realitonship is their problem is not has if your a bf i am such a dumb fucker i hve lost everythin in my life my frens and my family nowdays irritating me i jus hope i can see james soon i think tis year my b'dae i will be sitting in the cementry ear his stone:) and tasha i reali didnt meant wat i said all that nonsenes which cam out of my mouth jus think that i am dog barking to myself anyways i am reali sori.....i reali reali reali reali reali reali reali reali sorri....if you dun wanna see me or talk to me i understand tis dumb fucker needs it...reali sory for distrubin ur life i am reali sorry!!!!but.....nvm thx for being there for me in my life tasha i reali appreciate it...take care okay!!!! until we meet

i am incomplete witout you!!!!

Empty spaces fill me up with holes
Distant faces with no place left to go
Without you within me I can't find no rest
Where I'm going is anybody's guess


I tried to go on like I never knew you
I'm awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I'm going to be is incomplete


Voices tell me I should carry on
But I am swimming in an ocean all alone
Baby, my baby
It's written on your face
You still wonder if we made a big mistake


I tried to go on like I never knew you
I'm awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I'm going to be is incomplete


I don't mean to drag it on, but I can't seem to let you go
I don't wanna make you face this world alone
I wanna let you go (oh-oh)


I tried to go on like I never knew you
I'm awake but my world is half asleep
I pray for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I'm going to be is incomplete

Incomplete......


(uSElEss bOY)

CaN I dRop DEaD??????

hey guys today was blah!!!!i had my choux paste exam its was great my grup everyone passed:) then later i wen to eat lunch wif bari,angel,yusriand the other guy frm pastry(forget his name lah) then later i head bak to sch to meet ccl and w8 for tasha...i sat wif ccl and we talked she is a veri troubled girl and she has lots of thoughts running through her i reali miss the old "meow" ccl and i jus read her blog and she said she gonna get over him thats a great news to hear actuali its wonderfull:) she getting over himm for good!so yea coming bak we w8ted for tasha....tasha was veri happy today:) which was good to see cs i dun reali like to see her sad it jus dosent make my day...so we sat at the block opp our sch then later we headed in the bus bak to bp isat in the bus wif her and i was kinda sleepy cos i didnt reali sleep welll:( so i put tash to sleep on my shoulder and i oso knocked off then i while during my bus ride i felt a pain on my lips i saw her lip and my lip were connected errrrr(kissing) she actuali bite my lip and i guess she was dreaming abt mark wen she did that hehehe i noe it wasnt on purpose but i felt kinda happy:) then later wen we reached bp i sat at the bus stop wif her and i dun noe wat i said and then she said yea priya better...that reali fucked me up!!!!and then later she said "oh yea she has a boyfren" to tell the truth it cos of me she has a boyfren i sat wif her one on one i told her that i can and nvr forget tasha and i wanted her to date my frens brother who likes her i told her to date a guy like him then date a useless guy like me!!!! and on teachers day wen i went bak i saw both of them and she looked happy:) and tasha no girl can be compared to you NO ONE!!!! youre jus one girl which is hard to find!!!! and i hve to confess i am the one who kissed her in the bus i guess i got carried away....i am useless! sori tasha i am and idiot!!! maybe i shuld jus drop dead or quite tis course so that tasha could concentrate in her life and on mark and she dun hve to think abt me and i wont hve to irritate her life:) anyways good luck guyz and happy for ccl you strong:)

(useless boY)